Interiority: What is it and Why it Needs to Be in Our Personal Stories

Most people who come to my memoir and personal essay classes know the story they want to tell. It’s the one that has been rattling away inside them. It’s a before-and-after experience in their life. It’s what shaped them into the person they are today.

Many times, the first version of that story is simply a retelling of what transpired. They describe the who, what, when, where but shy away from one crucial element—interiority.

Why is interiority so important in personal stories? Because it is what helps the writer build a relationship with the reader. Without it, the story falls flat.

First, let’s talk about what interiority is:
• Interiority is the main POV character’s thoughts, feelings, reactions, and inner struggles. 

• It is one of the most important ways to get a reader into the mind of a character. 

• Instead of transporting us to a specific place or moment, the interiority transports us into the character’s mind. 

• Interiority is the difference between why you love a book versus a movie. It allows you to know the character in a way that a story playing out on screen can’t deliver. 

• It allows the reader not just to connect but to identify with a character. It will make the reader feel like they’ve lost a friend (someone they knew intimately) when a story is over.  

Why do writers often struggle with interiority?
The reason a lot of writers are uncomfortable with it starts with our culture. In our society, when someone encounters a challenging situation and “soldiers” through it, they are often praised for how “they never complained” and how “strong they were.” We are taught from an early age that being “too emotional” is a weakness.

While I disagree with that sentiment, here’s the thing—what we present on the outside is not always what we feel on the inside. Those two things can be very different. No matter how “strong” we seem, we are all human, and it is often in those honest, internal emotions that we find universality in writing.

I would also argue that anyone who writes their personal story and puts it out into the world is courageous. In order to do that, they need to peel away those outer layers and let themselves be vulnerable. That is not an easy thing to do! We all have doubts, insecurities, fears, worries, and dreams. Interiority is not about complaining; it is about revealing the truth.

When should you use it?
• When you want your reader to understand your POV and why you acted the way you did. 
• Anytime you have a reaction, curiosity, emotion, interest, etc. (But use it purposely - does it help the reader understand you and your motivations and/or move the story forward?)

Now wait a minute, isn’t that telling instead of showing? 
No, and let’s talk about why …

Writers may feel they are telling and not showing, but interiority done well is a good kind of telling. (Yes, that exists!) And it is even more important when writing first-person stories because we want the reader to be invested in the story and the character. 

Often writers are encouraged to “show” emotion instead of telling (I encourage my students to do this all the time!). But when trying to build a relationship with the reader, not using interiority creates a distance. The writer may have a character clench their teeth or huff their chest, but they forget to also dig into the emotion that is making them react that way.

Example: 
Let’s say in your story you are sitting in a diner drinking a cup of coffee. In walks a woman. You dart your eyes away. Sweat forms on your brow. Your body sinks into the booth. But then the woman walks out, and you sit up again. 

You did a lot of good showing (you’ve dropped the reader in a scene, you’ve described how your body responded to their presence) but without interiority mixed into this scenario, we have no idea why you reacted this way. We need that internal dialog mixed in to help us understand what made you feel the way you did. We need access to the thoughts that are running through your head. The combination of both the showing and the interiority helps the reader feel a stronger connection to the story and to you as the writer. 

Let’s take a look at an example from an essay I wrote a few years back:
Excerpted from “Looking Back at Cancer and Cornavirus.” All interiority is in italics.

A surgeon officially confirmed the diagnosis. As I walked into his private office for the consultation, he picked up a pink pashmina shawl wrapped in a label with a picture of a breast cancer ribbon on it. He offered it to me as I was sitting down, and I muttered a thank you. I knew it was supposed to be a comforting gesture but instead it felt like an invitation to a club I didn’t want to be in. As he began to speak, I looked down at the shawl. It seemed like a relic from the past, what you’d wear to a summer party or a wedding, not something that fit into what the world had become.

We sat across from one another, faces obscured by masks, as he rattled through a list of things that made no sense at the time — if the tumor was hormone receptive, lumpectomy versus mastectomy, lymph node removal, and radiation or chemotherapy. He said there appeared to be no genetic link. In other words, it was a fluke —one that occurred at the worst possible time. He mentioned I’d probably be able to keep my hair.

As he talked, a picture kept running through my mind. A few weeks earlier, celebrating my twins’ seventeenth birthday in a crowded restaurant surrounded by family. That life was gone now. He asked if I had any questions, and I shook my head. All I really wanted to know was something he had no answer to — would I ever be that person again?

The Final Takeaway
Remember to ask yourself as you write, but how did I feel? So much of telling our personal stories is not the outer transformation but the inner one. Always revisit and ask if giving more interiority could make a story more compelling. 

A single story can matter. Keep going! Keep writing yours!

Looking for more writing inspiration? Join me for one of my workshops, writing classes, or engagements or sign up for a private one-on-one writing consultation.